Not knowing everything about the government, the people in my country, the future of us all had been an inspiration for what I am about to write. I did write about voicing out my opinions and just recently, I did spend time researching about my country’s problems and why my own countrymen fight against each other.
Usually I will not even dare to look for the answers because I sincerely didn’t care. One day I just did but it was only for a moment.
I spent some hours reading about the famous communist party in the Philippines which I think is the main antagonist of our government. Learned to differentiate economies as well as their advantages and disadvantages. Thankfully, I have friends whom I can ask and discuss things about these matters. Suddenly, there was light.
All of it made sense except for one thing. My choice. After knowing all these sides, do I have to choose a side to support? Is it absolutely required? Will I be persecuted because I still choose to be silent even if I already know how bad and cruel the world is?
Too much, I said. This frustration was too much and I believe I didn’t need to think about it more. I did pray for everyone before sleeping that night. I also prayed and asked God, will He forgive me if I just stay silent? Do I have to be worried like everybody else? Do I have to do anything for them?
I slept well.
Every morning I write my dreams that I could remember just after waking up. Grab my phone and open my journal app. Type everything I can remember as fast as possible even if my eyes were still struggling to see blue light. The day after asking God questions about choosing sides, I barely remembered my dreams. Although, I did take note of two things from my dream.
One of the things I remember was I was a housekeeper of a rich professor. Whenever he goes out of the house, I still try to do lots of things even if there isn’t much to do anymore.
Interestingly, the other thing I noted from my dream was just a sentence. “Living is your choice as well as your beliefs and disbelief.” As if this was God’s answer to my questions. I was mindblown. The rest of my dreams that night was forgotten but I’m glad I remembered these two.
Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.Philippians 4:11 KJV
There are so many instances in the bible that tells how one could be able to live happily. One example is a verse from Philippians, as you can see above. It tells us that the person doesn’t just think of what he wants. It means he is contented in whatever situation he is in right now and because he believes in God’s plan.
It is because he accepted that God made it that way. He doesn’t seek for more in life but to just live it while being grateful, by having faith, and by giving or doing good works. I think it was the answer I was searching for that night when I was contemplating about caring too much about other people’s lives.
I must say that faith is such a wonderful topic to talk about. I can’t explain it all here and I decided to write about it more in the future.
I didn’t realize that it was still my choice if I should care or not. People may judge me for what I believe in but I should not be afraid of what other people might think. If they think I’m living a worthless life for not caring enough then I. respectfully. don’t. care.
The important thing is I know what God wants me to do. I know that I must be content of what I have and be grateful for it. If this belief will make other people think that I’m living a privileged life, it’s their choice. I know that this life is not mine and I’m living it because God lent it. He loves each and everyone of us that’s why he let us live on Earth temporarily.
Whatever your situation may be, He knows what you need, He knows that you need him. You just got to have faith. Everything will be better because hope never sleeps.
The title of this blog is inspired by a song that holds a place in my heart! It’s an official soundtrack from Baker King, one of the Kdramas I loved when I was a kid. Kyuhyun sang it really lovely and it still makes me cry after all the years…
Even if the world makes me cry, I’m okay.
Because you are always by my side.from the English translation of Hope Is A Dream That Doesn’t Sleep.
Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoy the song.